Eden gives her soon-to-be ex a one week deadline before she leaves. Can Hamilton serenade her back to love?
It's been seven years since their twin Luke died in a car accident Eden couldn't stop. She's tried to be a good wife and mother to their surviving twin Leia, but she can't bear all the memories and needs to leave. But Hamilton has quit his job and gone back to the guitar, and he wants one more chance at love.
“I’ll come back as much as I can to see you, but . . .” Eden trailed off.
“Is there someone else?” Hamilton asked.
It took Eden a moment to understand what he meant. He thought she was having an affair. Their sex life had been non-existent for a couple of years, and then just plain bad before that. Infrequent, utterly silent, and more frenzied than passionate. He thought that she’d want to try it with someone else?
“No,” Eden said. “No one else.”
“And that’s supposed to make us feel better? You’re leaving us because you’d rather be alone than be with us anymore?” Leia asked.
She was angry and close to tears. This was what Eden had wanted to avoid. This was the worst part. She loved Leia. She loved Hamilton, too, in a way. But it just wasn’t a useful way, not anymore. They were going to be happier when all of this was done—and she was going to be more peaceful. That was all she hoped for now.
“We’re living separate lives right now,” Eden said. “This will just formalize the situation. I really think it’s better for all of us to accept what has happened. We need to be honest with ourselves in order to be able to move on.”
She hated the words. They sounded exactly like something a therapist would say. Maybe they meant something to someone, but not to Eden, and probably not to anyone else. Hamilton had talked plenty about accepting and moving on in the early days.
“So because things are bad, you’re just going to give up on us?” Leia asked.
“I’m not giving up on anyone. I’m doing what I think is best. In time, you’ll agree with me, I suspect.”
“And if I don’t? If I think you’re selfish and cruel and that you’re the worst mother anyone could ever have?”
Eden sighed, her mouth pinching closed.
“If I tell you that I’m glad Luke is dead because he doesn’t have to see you like this. He thought you were the best mother ever. He thought that you could never hurt anyone and that you loved us more than anything.”
I was. I did, thought Eden.
“You can’t do this, Mom! Not now!” Leia said. There were tears shining in her eyes, but they didn’t fall. It was strange to Eden, seeing her daughter’s hard-earned composure. Eden felt no tears at all. She felt like a robot who was acting out a script. She felt like Hamilton and Leia had turned into robots, too. It was all metallic whirring and clicking, nothing squishy or human at all here.
“Leia, let’s talk about this,” Hamilton said. “Let’s all just calm down and be reasonable.”
No. Eden was tired of being reasonable. She was tired of trying to calm down. She needed to let herself do whatever she felt like and not worry about hurting other people. She needed to be alone.
There was a long, terrible silence.
This is wrong, Eden thought. But everything is wrong. It will always be wrong forever more, unless I find a way to make myself me again.
Genre: Romance
It's been seven years since their twin Luke died in a car accident Eden couldn't stop. She's tried to be a good wife and mother to their surviving twin Leia, but she can't bear all the memories and needs to leave. But Hamilton has quit his job and gone back to the guitar, and he wants one more chance at love.
“I’ll come back as much as I can to see you, but . . .” Eden trailed off.
“Is there someone else?” Hamilton asked.
It took Eden a moment to understand what he meant. He thought she was having an affair. Their sex life had been non-existent for a couple of years, and then just plain bad before that. Infrequent, utterly silent, and more frenzied than passionate. He thought that she’d want to try it with someone else?
“No,” Eden said. “No one else.”
“And that’s supposed to make us feel better? You’re leaving us because you’d rather be alone than be with us anymore?” Leia asked.
She was angry and close to tears. This was what Eden had wanted to avoid. This was the worst part. She loved Leia. She loved Hamilton, too, in a way. But it just wasn’t a useful way, not anymore. They were going to be happier when all of this was done—and she was going to be more peaceful. That was all she hoped for now.
“We’re living separate lives right now,” Eden said. “This will just formalize the situation. I really think it’s better for all of us to accept what has happened. We need to be honest with ourselves in order to be able to move on.”
She hated the words. They sounded exactly like something a therapist would say. Maybe they meant something to someone, but not to Eden, and probably not to anyone else. Hamilton had talked plenty about accepting and moving on in the early days.
“So because things are bad, you’re just going to give up on us?” Leia asked.
“I’m not giving up on anyone. I’m doing what I think is best. In time, you’ll agree with me, I suspect.”
“And if I don’t? If I think you’re selfish and cruel and that you’re the worst mother anyone could ever have?”
Eden sighed, her mouth pinching closed.
“If I tell you that I’m glad Luke is dead because he doesn’t have to see you like this. He thought you were the best mother ever. He thought that you could never hurt anyone and that you loved us more than anything.”
I was. I did, thought Eden.
“You can’t do this, Mom! Not now!” Leia said. There were tears shining in her eyes, but they didn’t fall. It was strange to Eden, seeing her daughter’s hard-earned composure. Eden felt no tears at all. She felt like a robot who was acting out a script. She felt like Hamilton and Leia had turned into robots, too. It was all metallic whirring and clicking, nothing squishy or human at all here.
“Leia, let’s talk about this,” Hamilton said. “Let’s all just calm down and be reasonable.”
No. Eden was tired of being reasonable. She was tired of trying to calm down. She needed to let herself do whatever she felt like and not worry about hurting other people. She needed to be alone.
There was a long, terrible silence.
This is wrong, Eden thought. But everything is wrong. It will always be wrong forever more, unless I find a way to make myself me again.
Genre: Romance
Used availability for Kjersten Beck's The Marriage Song