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The Twelve Labours of, umm, Brian
(2021)(Book 12 in the Brian Helsing: The World's Unlikeliest Vampire Hunter series)
A novel by Gareth K Pengelly
It's easy enough, making a deal with the devil. The real fun begins when you have to make good on your end of the bargain.
Bacchus, the eternally inebriated God of Wine, wants to make amends with dear papa Zeus before the bearded one goes into retirement. Whatever retirement is for a god. Probably involves gardening. Or Bingo, maybe.
Unfortunately, Bacchus, thanks to his debauched ways, is banished from Olympus, and to gain an audience with the big man he needs Brian's help.
Twelve Labours must be undertaken, each wackier and more stress-inducing than the last. Twelve Labours that will require Brian to use his brains, rather than his brawn. Which is good, because he doesn't have much of the latter. Unfortunately, he's not that blessed with the former, either.... Whoopsie.
With only fourteen days to complete a dozen Herculean tasks, Brian and the gang must don their togas and grab their litter-pickers as they face:
Flatulent dogs!
Bendy-legged twats!
People-who-think-they're-policeman-but-actually-aren't!
Confusing thoughts about their own sexuality!
But no hydras, ironically enough. Then again, one hydra is more than enough for one year, thank-you-very-much.
So pour yourself a glass of Ouzo and join Brian, Gertie, Heimlich and Neil as they charge headlong into mayhem in Mission 12: The Twelve Labours of, umm, Brian!
+++Warning: This book contains scenes of vegan food. Also, there's actually some pretty sad parts, so, you know, be ready. Don't want to cry in front of your cool mates, do you? They'll think you're a wuss. And you ain't no wuss - you read Brian Helsing books, which scientists have actually confirmed makes you the very MANLIEST of men! Even if you're a woman.+++
Genre: Urban Fantasy
Bacchus, the eternally inebriated God of Wine, wants to make amends with dear papa Zeus before the bearded one goes into retirement. Whatever retirement is for a god. Probably involves gardening. Or Bingo, maybe.
Unfortunately, Bacchus, thanks to his debauched ways, is banished from Olympus, and to gain an audience with the big man he needs Brian's help.
Twelve Labours must be undertaken, each wackier and more stress-inducing than the last. Twelve Labours that will require Brian to use his brains, rather than his brawn. Which is good, because he doesn't have much of the latter. Unfortunately, he's not that blessed with the former, either.... Whoopsie.
With only fourteen days to complete a dozen Herculean tasks, Brian and the gang must don their togas and grab their litter-pickers as they face:
Flatulent dogs!
Bendy-legged twats!
People-who-think-they're-policeman-but-actually-aren't!
Confusing thoughts about their own sexuality!
But no hydras, ironically enough. Then again, one hydra is more than enough for one year, thank-you-very-much.
So pour yourself a glass of Ouzo and join Brian, Gertie, Heimlich and Neil as they charge headlong into mayhem in Mission 12: The Twelve Labours of, umm, Brian!
+++Warning: This book contains scenes of vegan food. Also, there's actually some pretty sad parts, so, you know, be ready. Don't want to cry in front of your cool mates, do you? They'll think you're a wuss. And you ain't no wuss - you read Brian Helsing books, which scientists have actually confirmed makes you the very MANLIEST of men! Even if you're a woman.+++
Genre: Urban Fantasy
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