A Smile a Minute

This historic book may have numerous typos and missing text. Purchasers can download a free scanned copy of the original book (without typos) from the publisher. Not indexed. Not illustrated.1919 Excerpt: ... A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S SCREAM A Port on the Hudson, frequently called New York. DEAR JOE: Well, Joe, I'm takin' a chance on you gettin' this letter, because for all I know you may be in Berlin by now with the A. E. F. which was goin' there so fast when I left 'em that they was a lot of the Heinies got trampled to death on account of our gang runnin' right over 'em! No doubt you also have been over the top and etc. and learned enough French to order a steak and get bacon and eggs instead in one of them Paris restaurants and have come to believe that they is only one word in the Ger man language and that's " Kamerad." Of course you or nobody else will never have no adventures like befell unto me, but still with the war goin' on and etc. you will prob'ly find enough to do to keep you from passin' away of idleness whilst in France, hey, Joe? Well, me and Jeanne and my baby is somewheres in New York now, and in a few days I will be down at a joint by the name of Yaphank, L. I., teachin' them draft babies how to get across the Rhine without payin' no ferry fare, and the like. Right now we are livin' in a swell hotel, and they can't tell me Jesse James is dead because I'll tell the world fair that guy is runnin' this place! It costs more money to live here than it did to build Brooklyn, and we are gonna grab off a flat somewheres in Harlem as soon as I can find one where the rent don't sound like the fare to Australia by taxi. Joe, it is sure great to be back in New York once again and hear good old United States bein' spoke all around you, not that I got anything against the French language, which is all right once you get used to it, only who expects to live 200 years, hey, Joe? Also, it is fine to deal with dollars and cents instead of this franc, centime, and pou...